Нийтлэл Гэрээ санах урлаг
  • 2018/01/17
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Хэдэн өдөр дамнаж бичсэн нийтлэлээ өнөөдөр л гаргах нь . . .

Өнөөдөр бол Зул сарын баярын өмнөх өдөр. Өдрийн 12 цаг болж байгаа ч би саяхан л орноосоо өндийн босч байна. Унтлагын хувцастайгаа, засаагүй орон дээрээ шууд л компьютерээ тэврэн сууж буй минь энэ. Монгол оронд минь тийм ч чухалд тооцогддоггүй, миний хувьд ч тусгай санагддагүй энэ баярын юу нь намайг өглөөний хэвшлээ орхин ингэж суухад хүргэснийг бодоход хэдхэн хоногийн дараа он солигдож, шинэ жилээ угтан авна гэдэг бодол байсан аж.

Хоёр дахь жилдээ гэр бүлийнхнэээсээ хол шинэ жил тэмдэглэх нь гэсэн бодол өөрийн эрхгүй гуниг төрүүлсэн. Анхны жил бүх юм шинэ, анх удаа найз нөхөдтэйгээ шинэ газар он гаргаж үзэх гэж байсан болоод ч тэр үү тийм ч их зүйл бодоогүй санагдана, харин энэ жил хэд хоногийн өмнөөс л гэрээ санаж эхлэх гэж. Гэрээ санана гэдэг үг зөвхөн гунигтай мэдрэмжээс илүүтэй олон зүйлийг агуулдаг гэдгийг харин би энэ жил ойлгож авсан. Тэр олон мэдрэмжийг удирдаж явах нь урлаг юм уу даа гэж бодсон минь энэ. Мона Лизаг бид нүдээрээ биш зүрхээрээ харж, Сарны сонатыг чихээрээ биш сэтгэлээрээ сонсдог шиг хаанаас гардаг нь ч мэдэгдэггүй мэдрэмжүүдийг сэтгэлдээ удирдан зохицуулах урлаг юм.

За, гэрээ санаж байна уу? гэх үгийг анх сонсоод “Юуг нь санах вэ. Ийм гоё газар ирчхээд гэрээ санаад байх даа яах вэ дээ” гэх ухааны юм бодож суудагсан. Амралтын өдрийн өглөө “Москва нулимсанд дургүй” киног компьютер дээрээ тавьчхаад блинчик хийж идэж байхад сэтгэл тайван санагдана. Яг л энэ үйлдэл миний гэрээ санаж байсны илэрхийлэл гэдгийг гадаад нутагт ирээд үзээгүйгээ үзэж, “хамраа сөхсөн” би яаж мэдэх вэ. Гэрээ санаж байгаагаа эхлээд огтхон ч ойлгодоггүй байж, тэр тусмаа цаг байвал өдөр болгон ч ярьж болохоор интернет эрин үед санах зав ч гарахгүй мэт. Яг энэ өдөр л би гэрээ санаж байгаагаа хүлээн зөвшөөрч байна.
Гэрээ санаж байна гэж бодохдоо би харин өөрийн эрхгүй инээмсэглэдэг, мэдээж хүн болгонд өөр өөрөөр илэрхийлэгдэх хэдий ч миний хувьд хөгжилтэй санагддаг юм. Гэрээ санахад би өөрийгөө санадаг. Намайг тойрон хүрээлдэг байсан тэр орчин, хүмүүс, үнэр, амт гэрээ санах тэрхэн мөчид бүгд мэдрэгддэг. Энэ нь ч сайхан санагдаж, сэтгэл тайвширдаг, тэрхэн хугацаанд өөрийгөө цэнэглээд авч буй мэт мэдрэгддэг юм. Гэрээ санах нь зөв гэж би боддог. Тэдэнтэйгээ хамт байхсан гэж бодох тэрхэн хугацаанд өөрийгөө хэн байсныг, юуны тулд би өнөөдөр энд байгаагаа санаж чаддаг.

 Саяхнаас өрөөндөө би өөрийн 6 сартай байсан үеийн зургаа олж тавьсан юм. Хэцүү санагдсан, ойлгомжгүй үед би зургаа хараад хэний, ямар мөрөөдлийг биелүүлэхээ ирснээ боддог. Тэр л багадаа би хэн болно гэж ярьж байлаа даа гэж бодохоос хэн хүнээс илүүтэй Аминагийн итгэлийг алдахгүй байх юмсан гэж бодож эрч хүч авдаг гэхүү дээ. Нутаг орноосоо алсад сурна гэдэг сайхан зүйл ихтэй ч, сэтгэл санааны хувьд хөгшрүүлдэг юм шиг санагддаг. Өөрийн эрхгүй ухаантай болчихсон юм шиг санагдаж, өөрийгөө Харри Поттер киноны Дамбльдор шиг бодох үе ч олонтаа. “Цаг нь ирэхээр мэднээ” гэх үгээр шинээр ирж буй хүүхдүүддээ үлгэр тууль дамжуулах мэт. Энэ мэтээр анх ирсэн өөрөөсөө өөр хүн болоод явчих вий гэдэг үүднээс, яг би гэдэг сууриа хадгалж чадаж байгаа эсэх нь гэрээ санаж дурсах тэр мөчид эргэн ирж ирээдүйгээ шулуун харах чадварыг өгдөг гэж би найддаг юм.

Энэхүү нийтлэлийг бичиж байхдаа хүн болгонд мэдлэг олгох Их Нүдэнд зөв юм бичиж байна уу гэж бодсонд минь бүү эргэлзээрэй. Хүн өөрийгөө таньж мэдэх нь нэг талын мэдлэг гэж бодсоны эцэст эргэлзээ минь бүрэн арилсан. Ингээд энэ жилийг бүгдээрээ нэг сайхан “гэрээ санаад” эхлүүлцгээе, гэхдээ уйлж биш инээж. Өнгөрсөн үе рүүгээ нэг хараад харамсах биш харин өнгөрсөндөө талархал илэрхийлье. Бүх алдаандаа баярла, учир нь тэр алдаагаа та дахин гаргахгүй, ирээдүйдээ инээмсэглэхийн тулд өнгөрснөө үдэх хэрэгтэй шүү дээ.
“Чарли ба шоколадны үйлдвэр” кинонд өвөө нь ач хүүдээ “Мөнгө хаа сайгүй байна, харин наад алтан тасалбар чинь дэлхийд тавхан байгаа шүү” гэж хэлдэг. Энэ л үгний ачаар хүү өөрийгөө ямар ховорхон боломж гартаа атгаж буйгаа ойлгодог. Хүнээр дүүрэн хорвоод бидний гэр бүл ердөө “ганц”, тэр л хүмүүсийг гэр бүлээ гэж дуудах бидний аз юм.

Бидний ховор “Алтан тасалбар” болох дэлхийн хаа нэгтээ байгаа гэрийнхэндээ энэ нийтлэл хүрэх өдрийн халуунаас халуун мэндийг хүргэе.

Бүгдээрээ даарч л байгаа биз дээ.

2017.12.25 – 2017.01.10

Обирин Их сургууль

Глобал Харилцааны факультет

Доржпүрэвийн Амина

 

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